“I’m so sorry,” he said, his warm voice whispering through my laptop’s speakers. He laid his head onto his study desk so that I couldn’t see him anymore on my screen. All I wanted to do was hug him though it was impossible what with him being thousands of miles away. This Skype conversation just had to do it for us, even if it were about to be our last.
He looked back up, right at me, as though he were looking straight into his camera, his eyes damp with sadness. I could feel the tears prickling at the back of my eyes. Please don’t cry, Emma, don’t you dare cry. Closing them quick, I let out a heavy sigh.
“Emma, please don’t be mad,” he said. My eyes still closed, I shook my head. I didn’t understand why he would think of all the feelings there were in the world, that I was mad. I opened my eyes and saw that my eyebrows were intensely burrowed into a frown.
Okay, so I did look a little angry.
He let out a sigh and we sat there in virtual silence for a minute. I looked from his face on the screen to mine in the tiny little box in the corner. My eyes flicked back up to his once more and he was still looking at me. My heart dropped in that instant.
Would this honestly be the last time we’re ever going to have a conversation just between the two of us? So what if it was virtual? It was better than nothing. And then my eyes caved in.
Tears started rolling down my cheeks, splatting onto the keyboard. I pulled my screen down so that he couldn’t see my face and quickly wiped my face with the back of my sweater-sleeved hands. “Emma?” he called out.
I drew in a quick breath and pushed the screen up again. “Hey, yeah, sorry, I’m here,” I whispered and caught a quick glimpse of myself in the screen. There was no hiding it, my eyes were already red and my cheeks were flamed with emotions. “It’s okay, I understand.”
“Please don’t cry,” he lullabied.
“Oh, I don’t think there’s any stopping me now,” I let out a nervous chuckle though my lips betrayed me and formed the saddest frown I have ever seen. My chuckles turned into sobs, and I covered my face, my shoulders shaking. I couldn’t stop crying now that I had started.
“Emma,” I couldn’t stand it when he called my name. I just turned into liquid along with my tears. “Emma, you still look so pretty when you cry.”
A slight wail escaped my mouth. “Stop!” I laughed, tears still streaming two parallel rivers on my face. “You can’t do this and then tell me I’m pretty,” I joked because everyone knew he could do anything and I’d still want him.
“I hate having to be responsible because now I can’t have you. But I’m so happy that you understand that it’s better we stop now than when I’ve fallen in too deep since I’m falling for you already and all…” his voice trailed off while he watched me wipe my tears. “If it weren’t for the other people, I would want nothing more than to be with you.”
I nodded, the waterworks finally ending its show. “It’ll take me a while, but I’ll be okay,” I said, unsure.
“I know you’ll be okay.”
“Do not say that,” because honestly, I feared I would never recover.
He looked at the screen of his phone and said, “I have to go now. But I’ll text you, okay?”
I had to pinch myself to stop myself from blurting out, ‘Please stay,’ or worse yet, ‘I love you’. I collected myself and finally said, “Alright, please do.”
“Bye, Emma. Take care.”
“Bye, Noel. I miss you.”
And without saying anything in return, he waved and Skype whispered, as though mocking our situation, “End.”
This short story taken from Annatasha Saifol's tumblr His Selfish Machine. Credit to her and her tumblr. I can feel the pain, sadnes in this story. The emotion, can't tell. The pain, can't tell. Only tears, explain the situation. Been there done that said Neyo. I've once be in that situation. Hati cakap lain, mulut buat lain, last perbuatan pun lain lain jugak.
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