Random

I've been dating the same man for more than five years. Went through obstacles, I do admit I act like some kind of bitch with bitchy attitudes but somehow he still there, for me. Most of our fights came from me. I've learnt lots from what had actually happened to us early this year. He's been the one I can always count on with, to share my ups and downs, the major reason of my smiles and also ya my tears. You know when they said there's no relationship free from any fight, and stuff like that but how the couple handle it is the reason of whether they will stay together or not. Alhamdulillah five awesome years with him, still counting for more years to go. I really hope that this is my last relationship. Cliche but who cares anyway? *insert smirk smile's emoji here*

I really hope, your love will never fade away. Me thou. Ahhhhhhhhhhhh gitchew.

Thor-ing

Teringin masuk cinema, and acah acah snap time movie. Upload instagram macam orang lain. Tapi last last dekat dalam kereta jugak tempat nyaaa. Boyfriend seems tired layan-ing his girlfriend obsessing dengan diri sendiri nak snap snap snap. What am I suppose to do if itu memang perangai azali haaaa. But still after five years, he still layan. Hope it will last forever. Xo

Obsession

These are the pictures taken from front camera. I don't have guts to take picture from the main camera though I knew the pixels are more and the results of picture itself magnificent but suddenly, tetiba TER ada guts. Haaaaaaa 

Habis semua jerawats cacats celas iols engkorang nampak. These pictures were taken time I tunggu nak ambil stock mask Shiseido. Full memory aku nyah oi. Bila nak berubah tah! 

Is it?

I think she's afraid to even hug me now. It's my fault, but I miss it, Andrew. I miss it so much it aches sometimes, you know?'

I do know. I do know, I want to tell him, but I let him talk. And he does, with a gut-wrenching honesty that tears at my heart.

'I want to be held. Is that so wrong? I want to be held, and stroked. I want to know that someone loves me. I want to feel it on my skin.' He looks at the ceiling and exhales, then meets my eyes again. 'But nobody touches me anymore. Not even when I have a fever. Mom just hands me a thermometer now.' He drops his eyes and his ears redden. 'Even when you kiss me, you don't touch me. It's like I'm a leper or something. I can hardly keep my hands off of you, but it's not the same for you, is it?

2210-60

Because it's twenty second.

Short Story

“I’m so sorry,” he said, his warm voice whispering through my laptop’s speakers. He laid his head onto his study desk so that I couldn’t see him anymore on my screen. All I wanted to do was hug him though it was impossible what with him being thousands of miles away. This Skype conversation just had to do it for us, even if it were about to be our last.

              He looked back up, right at me, as though he were looking straight into his camera, his eyes damp with sadness. I could feel the tears prickling at the back of my eyes. Please don’t cry, Emma, don’t you dare cry. Closing them quick, I let out a heavy sigh.

            “Emma, please don’t be mad,” he said. My eyes still closed, I shook my head. I didn’t understand why he would think of all the feelings there were in the world, that I was mad. I opened my eyes and saw that my eyebrows were intensely burrowed into a frown.

            Okay, so I did look a little angry.

            He let out a sigh and we sat there in virtual silence for a minute. I looked from his face on the screen to mine in the tiny little box in the corner. My eyes flicked back up to his once more and he was still looking at me. My heart dropped in that instant.

            Would this honestly be the last time we’re ever going to have a conversation just between the two of us? So what if it was virtual? It was better than nothing. And then my eyes caved in.

            Tears started rolling down my cheeks, splatting onto the keyboard. I pulled my screen down so that he couldn’t see my face and quickly wiped my face with the back of my sweater-sleeved hands. “Emma?” he called out.

            I drew in a quick breath and pushed the screen up again. “Hey, yeah, sorry, I’m here,” I whispered and caught a quick glimpse of myself in the screen. There was no hiding it, my eyes were already red and my cheeks were flamed with emotions. “It’s okay, I understand.”

            “Please don’t cry,” he lullabied.

            “Oh, I don’t think there’s any stopping me now,” I let out a nervous chuckle though my lips betrayed me and formed the saddest frown I have ever seen. My chuckles turned into sobs, and I covered my face, my shoulders shaking. I couldn’t stop crying now that I had started.

            “Emma,” I couldn’t stand it when he called my name. I just turned into liquid along with my tears. “Emma, you still look so pretty when you cry.”

            A slight wail escaped my mouth. “Stop!” I laughed, tears still streaming two parallel rivers on my face. “You can’t do this and then tell me I’m pretty,” I joked because everyone knew he could do anything and I’d still want him.

            “I hate having to be responsible because now I can’t have you. But I’m so happy that you understand that it’s better we stop now than when I’ve fallen in too deep since I’m falling for you already and all…” his voice trailed off while he watched me wipe my tears. “If it weren’t for the other people, I would want nothing more than to be with you.”

            I nodded, the waterworks finally ending its show. “It’ll take me a while, but I’ll be okay,” I said, unsure.

            “I know you’ll be okay.”

            “Do not say that,” because honestly, I feared I would never recover.

            He looked at the screen of his phone and said, “I have to go now. But I’ll text you, okay?”

            I had to pinch myself to stop myself from blurting out, ‘Please stay,’ or worse yet, ‘I love you’. I collected myself and finally said, “Alright, please do.”

            “Bye, Emma. Take care.”

            “Bye, Noel. I miss you.”

            And without saying anything in return, he waved and Skype whispered, as though mocking our situation, “End.”

This short story taken from Annatasha Saifol's tumblr His Selfish Machine. Credit to her and her tumblr. I can feel the pain, sadnes in this story. The emotion, can't tell. The pain, can't tell. Only tears, explain the situation. Been there done that said Neyo. I've once be in that situation. Hati cakap lain, mulut buat lain, last perbuatan pun lain lain jugak. 

Chain Entry #2 Skin

Proceed chain entry pasal product pulak. Untuk kali ini, I nak share pasal product apa I pakai and macam mana semua itu dipakai. So far kalau I rasa tak makan bayak space, I akan share sekali dengan make up yang digunakan. Basically I rasa tak banyak kot. Kot la. Sebab haku ni kalau dah menulis bukan nak ingat orang sebelah. Merapu entah apa apa jauh merantau dah tangan jari jemari runcing yang gemuk lagi besar ni. See, merepek. Malas nak delete. Next!

Okay. Rasanya perkara paling basic lah iaitu facial wash. I malas nak google, so sebab I rajin nak tolong engkorang semua, so I gagah kan diri snap gambar facial wash yang I guna dalam bathroom tu yang sebenarnya dah nyawa nyawa ikan nak habis. Wiuwiuwiu mohon ibunda dikasihi meluluskan untuk membeli stock facial wash itu lagi. Sekian.

Facial Wash

Maaf bekas dah buruk sangat. FYI, St Ella adalah product from Mililea. Cuma dia nama lain sebab before I beli product ni, I buat facial and check apa yang aneh terkurang masaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaalahnya skin I. And apa yang best I nak share adalah dia punya facial TERBAIK TOQ! Serious I sampai tertidur berdengkur laaa. Tak senonoh? Ah peduli apaa aku. Miumiumiu 

Yang atas ISIS Pharma tu product doctor I bagi. Ceh bagi tau. Padahal mak aku beli! Hiuhiuhiu so far pharmacy I tak tahu dekat mana jual. Maybe ada but harga around RM50-60 macam tu la. Tapi below RM100 la yang pasti. Tapi memang bukan less than RM50. If I'm not mistaken. Guna citonet je, sebab kalau banyak, rugi lewwwww. Okay? Dia macam scrub. Daily scrub plus facial wash, memang daebak laaaa kata dak dak K-pop sekarang. I guna dua dua sebab maleh nak membaziooo. Dulu I guna ISIS je sebab doctor sarankan, tapi kesian tengok yang St Ella tu. Macam neglected sangat. So I guna dua dua. Yeay! Kaya. Eh!

Toner

This is toner. Guna semua sikit. Facial wash sikit. Toner pun spray sikit. Sebab duit omak abah den bukan untuk den sorang so kena la fikir kalau cepat habis, ekau nak pakai apo? Think baby think!

Basically semua tahu after habis korang cuci muka. I tak suka keringkan. Sebab I suka dia dry sendiri. Pandailaaa dia fikir guane. Aku dah pepenat basuh, takkan kering pun aku. So I nak ajar skin I jadi independent sikit so I suruh dia dry sendiri. Boleh gitu? Lepas tu, I spray la. Both cheeks, chin, forehead and pap pap pap gitu tepuk muka. I tak suka spray dekat cotton and clean up. Naaaaa'ah sebab time I tengah consult dengan beautician tu, dia kata macam tu kita tak dapat the exact ingredients yang ada dalam tonet. Ingredients ke apa ke, tah tetau nak panggil apa. Plus dia kata merugikan kalau spray dekat cotton. Tapi sukatikooooooo lah nak buat cemana.

Skin Essence 

Selalunya lepas korang spray toner korang letak apa? Kalau I, memang I akan apply skin essence ni. Dia acah macam moisturizer lah. Haaa ke memang? Entah tapi function dia lebih kurang. Melembabkan kulit. Katanyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. So gimana cara guna?

Just picit sangat sikit dekan tangan. Then letak dekat cheeks, forehead, chin and nose. Lepas tu pap pap pap pap ratakan semua and wallah segarnyaaaa mukaa awak. Haaaaa gituuuu!

Intensive Nourisher 

My favorite favorite favorite. Nama dia lain adalah cream mutiara. Dia sangat best. So far dalam banyak banyak Melilea punya product, this one I kena banyak kali renew. Sebab kalau ikut dia, pakai citonet jeeee. Tapi dapat dekat aku, sepenuh muka. Sebab dia bertindak as foundation, pencerah, sunblock, apa lagi moisturize skin semua. Bagi glowing

Dalam dia kalau tengok color macam bb cream semua 

Warna acah bb cream kan? Eh nampak tinggal sikit dah. This cream for me macam magic sebab dia super awesome. Eh tadi I cakap tak pakai bb cream kan? Habis ni macam bb cream pekeheeeeei kan? Meh I tunjuk korang cara guna and bukti dia bukan bb cream. Usually kalau bb cream after korang apply, bila nak cuci warna dekat tissue macam warna bb cream la kan? Creamy macam tu. But this cream, even dia macam bb cream, tapi dia bukan bb cream. Haaaaaaa plus this cream lagi satu yang protect my skin from sinar UV. Eceh eceh erti kata lain, mencerahkan. Tapi SIL tak boleh pakai, dia rasa tah merah la gatal la naik pimples la. But for me, super gorgeous I rasa muka I! HAHAHAHAH

Apply dekat skin 

Ratakan

I dah lap and look yourself, dekat tissue tu nothing

*Tak nak percaya sudah*

Zoom in yang blur bahawa I dah wipe off those 'so-called-magic-cream'

HOW TO TREAT YOUR PIMSPIMS

I baru guna ni, so far I rasa dia sesuai dengan my skin. Letak je dekat pimples yang tengah mengembung ke or spot yang baru nak ada pims ke. InsyaAllah hilangggggggg lewwwww 

Tadaaa ini sahaja apa I guna untuk muka. Basic. Tapi kalau duduk rumah, haramJ memang I tak pakai apa. Toner ke apa ke hampeeeeeeh I tak pakai. Tapi nak keluar, I pakai lah. Hiuhiuhiu tapi rajinkan basuh muka la kalau duduk rumah even tak pakai toner semua semua tu. Sebab sometimes even kita rasa rumah kita bersih but still the dust. Faham kan?

So I shall continue dengan basic make up yang I guna. Maybe anda terkejut sebab maybe nampak over kakton, tapi sebenarnya tidak. Apa I boleh cakap, ada masa camera dengan I sangat bertoleransi antara satu sama lain. Sifat memahami sangat tinggi. So gambar santek santek nangat jadi. BAGI I LAAAAAAAAAAAAA! Hahahaha

MAKE UP BABY

1) The Concealer

REVLON

After applying those magic cream or intensive nourisher, I akan letak concealer ni dekat black spot ke or mana mana yang terkurang ke kan. Macam eyebag. Usually orang guna concealer for eyebag but for me dekat yang I rasa terkurang. Just pap pap pap and guna hujung jari ratakan. Thats all.

2) Loose Face Powder

REVLON

Disebabkan I tak guna any compact powder, I'm using loose powder from Revlon sebab boleh macam bedak biasa jeeeeee ha. Sebab kalau compact powder, I rasa melekat. Macam weeeeeh pakai mask jalan jalan gitu. Big no-no laaaa. So bila berpeluh nampak relax je muka. Haaaa korang faham laa.

3) Eyeshadow

NO BRAND

I'm using no brand eyeshadow yang dark so that bila berpeluh ke apa ke dekat eyelids takda garisan putih macam tu. Or else kalau tak pakai, I akan selalu lap eyelids sebab rasa macam orang perhati jeeee. Paranoia. Wiuwiuwiuwiu so basically korang guna la warna apa nak. I guna very dark chocolate. Or you guys can use dark blue, black ke kan itu kalau suka jenis macam make up lebihkan dekat mata laa.

4) Eyeliner

THE BODY SHOP

For eyeliner, after siap pakai eyeshadow, I akan apply eyeliner so that mata tak nampak kusam sangat la. Itu kekdahnyaaaaaa. Faham? I suka liquid eyeliner, I tak reti yang pencil punya. Teringin pakai. Tapi tak gheeeeti. Kecian titew an an an? I akan apply dekat atas and bawah mata. Btw, I suka cari and guna eyeliner senang tanggal sebab nak solat apa semua. Leceh kalau pakai yang susah tanggal ni, especially waterproof semua tu. Leceh. Itu bagi saya laaaaa

5) Lip Tint

NO BRAND

Sebenarnya my lips very the sensitive. Kalau pakai lipstick mesti akan lama lama jadi kering and gatal. Orang tengok pinkish lips but sebenarnya I mengalami gatal dan bibir yang tidak awesome. I suka MAC's lipstick but then tak sesuai dengan I. So far liptint ni bagi bibir tak pucat sangat so kira letup ahhhhhh

SIAP

Okay ini adalah hasil. Cuma I tambah dengan lens. Sebab kurniaan mata sikit sikit kena tarik. So kena guna bantuan sama ada using spec atau lens or else I akan moody sebab tak best pemandangan tak clear. Alaaaaa gituuu. 

MAKE UP TAMBAHAN KALAU RAJIN

kalau nak pi dating 

hihi

1) Eyeshadow

ELIANTO

I takda macam orang palette make up for eyeshadow yang Naked tu but I will. Cuma belum rasa perlu lagi so diamkan sahaja dulu. So I'm using this gold eyeshadow dekat bahagian depan mata then belakang yang dark choc tadi.  

2) Mascara

NO BRAND

Mascara yang no brand. This one I bought dekat Daiso. Jimat gila aku! Haha sebenarnya sebab I tak guna so I just bought it lah. I suka tengok orang pakai mascara. Terus lawa mata so, kalau I rajin baru I pakai. Kalau tidak, hahahahahaharapan.

3) Blusher

ELIANTO

I jarang pakai blusher sebab I sangat senang and kuat peluh so I takut kalau pakai blusher nanti I akan makan membantu pimples active. Nggak mau sih! Nggak! So I pakai kalau I rasa I nak sahaja. Or I yakin I tak berpeluh yang penting! wiuwiuwiu

Ini gambar full make up. Sebenarnya takda beza sebab I bukan make up tebal and biasa.

Harap Mak Long

And maybe I lupa nak cakap 

Sebenarnya my left cheek yang gelap tu adalah my birth mark. Cerita pasal birth mark sangat panjaaaaaaaaang. So laser sebenarnya untuk birthmark and also pimples. Itu sahaja! Hew hew hew

CUCI MAKE UP

Dulu I'm using Wet Tissue and sekarang ada masa wet tissue tapi kalau malas, and sambil nak manja diri, I akan cuci guna baby oil dan usap usap muka and lap dengan soft tissue. Sekian

So far ini bukan secret apa pun sebenarnya. I cuba lah share apa yang patut. Mana tahu kot kot boleh menolong kan. Supplement pun penting. I ada jugak amek tapi sometimes bila busy tu ada terabai. I hate myself untuk itu. Tapi bukan luar je kena jaga. Dalaman pun sama. Hope semua boleh membantu. Muah muah semua